It’s really easy to get down about things, or to be occupied by things.
and that’s probably all just fine. The world in an egocentric way is all for you. me . you.
When I was 16 I heard some great music, I liked one song on this cassette tape, then I gave that cassette tape to a girl. I bought other albums by the band and eventually I lost my virginity listening to them, and off and on for years I listened to them. And every fucking time i get into them the coolest thing happens.
I quit for a few minutes, thinking the world is all for me in the shitty way, thinking about how fucked up everything is and how bad I sometimes wish I weren’t alive, or that I am stuck in this really horrible situation, and I feel pretty good. and smiles don’t seem forced and the mystery of the world, and the right to use and over and over agian, and attachments to misspellings and misproper grammar, really become really ridiculous. Because, I remember, I am in a world, that includes with that shitty shit that makes you want to quit, politics, diseases, I have the ability to create. and besides that. It really doesn’t matter if its super duper good and would sell tons of albums or even one. because, when it comes from that same place that place where all that other shit quits, its pretty good to me.
So yeah, its all for you its all for me, escapism is totally valid, and the truth of the fucking matter, is everything is big all the time, not just when your exploding.
Once I was walking and I was sober, or on psychedelics, and I said to my friend, imagine all the stars just rushing into you all at once.
and another time I was walking, and I was on psychedelics, or I was sober, and I felt my body separate into all the stars at once.
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Tyrannosaurus Rex, eater of stars?
Pretty good guess, but no. Maybe I should listen to that too.
Anyway, turns out it’s “eater of cars”. So the theory doesn’t even hold.